Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Parents in Training

Do you ever feel like you are the worst parent in the world?  Trying to navigate the emotions of a child is the hardest thing ever. I'm never quite sure if what I'm doing is helping my children or hurting them.  And every kid is so different.  Sometimes I step back and put myself in my child's shoes...I"ll be like okay let's pretend I'm 11 years old and my mom did this or my dad did this or they said this to me how would I feel.  Wow!! I'm not sure I should do that anymore because I'm afraid I'm really messing my kids up!

It is amazing how three kids can come from the same two people and have such different personalities.  We have five very different personalities in my home and for the most part we mesh well together but there are times when I forget that I'm not them and they are not me.  I have to remember that when they are thirty three years old it's not going to matter if they did well in softball at age 11 or if they went out for basketball at age 9....or if they peed behind the outhouse and all up the side of it at age 4.  I guess I'm just as guilty as the next parent who wants the best for their child.  I want my kids to be happy and healthy and rich so they can buy all the stuff I like and then I can move in with them.

I have realized that at times it is pointless to figure out a child.  I try and try and realize I don't even know why I did some of things I did when I was growing up.  For instance in high school I was consistently late for curfew and my parents punished me and were disappointed with me every time, yet I continued to do it.  I don't know now and I didn't know then why I did that.  There is no explanation for some of the things we do, we just do them.  Now I'm a parent and have to realize that kids are funny, strange, awkward human beings.  They have funny quirks and make funny noises and ask really hard questions.  They look up to adults and their parents are their whole world but someday they'll grow up and realize that adults aren't as mature as they thought they were.  In fact I know some adults who are less mature than my kids!

My older two children have figured out that I am Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy blew her cover too after one too many times of forgetting to leave money for a lost tooth.  I was excited to at least have my 4 year old to still believe in Santa and the Tooth Fairy, however he's big into Mascots and so he things Santa is a mascot.  Whenever he sees Santa he asks.  "Whose the guy in the costume?"

I guess we all have to give ourselves a break, we aren't perfect and our children aren't perfect.  As long as we are happy and healthy and have the, air, water, shelter (My 11 year old studied for her science test last night about the ecosystem).  I think we also need love and laughter.  So when my husband gets mad at me for something my reply is..."Well your head has a thick candy shell on it."

Paul Reiser was talking about children on The Talk and he said that you are in awe by the miracle of life and then it gets hard.  "This is how smart the powers are that be.  It's sort of like a movie that's great in the first ten minutes, the rest of the movie might not be great but it keeps you there because you think it's going to be great.  That's why the beginning, when you look at a kid you think, 'oh this is going to be great.' but then it's all up hill from there." Paul Reiser on why people have kids.  I think I need to read his book....Familyhood because he and his wife think they are the worst parents so it's gotta be a funny book.

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