Thursday, July 21, 2011

Life's Not Fair

I recently read an article in a magazine about a mother who believes that children who don't try shouldn't get the same benefits as those who do.  I happen to agree with her.  I am noticing more and more parents who want equal treatment of children who are not equally putting forth the effort.  I've even told a coach before that if my child is not trying don't play them.  They aren't learning anything from putting forth no effort yet getting the same playing time as the children who are working their butts off.  When I was in sports if you half-assed it at practice or didn't do your job in a game you were benched.  Our coach didn't continue to allow you to play because he or she felt that all kids deserved equal playing time.  You don't go to a job and get a promotion because you showed up late to work every day, didn't practice good hygiene and sat on Face book all day just because your boss felt that all his employees deserved equal promotions.  That's not the real world and we are supposed to be grooming our children for the great stuff in life as well as the disappointments.

I see parents upset at games because their kids, who have terrible attitudes and don't have respect for the other players or the coaches, benched.  Again, I feel I'm entitled to my opinion because I am a parent of children who have not tried hard and who have had terrible attitudes and I've asked for them to be benched.  Other parents think I'm too harsh.  Too harsh?   I'm doing the best thing I can as a parent and teach them that if you truly want something in life then you have to work for it.  If you don't want to be out for a sport you have to finish because I don't believe in quitting something you've started, unless of course you've become a person who is now bringing the whole team down, but then you don't go out the next year.  I can see the kids that hate sports but their parents force them to go out.  Team sports are great for children to learn about respect, team work, hard work and dedication and I think every child should try something if they can, but if it's truly not something they enjoy or want to work at then don't be upset when they don't get to play. Talent is great but a person who has little talent but works hard can far exceed a person with a ton of talent who puts forth little effort.

We aren't just raising children we are raising adults so think about what kind of adult you want your child to be someday.  I for one would like my children to be functioning members of society, I'd like for them to work hard to achieve their dreams but realize that in life there are setbacks.  I want them to understand that if they fail it's okay because they can try and try again. 

Our children need to understand that we will love them no matter what but we do need to challenge them to excel.  In life we need to be able to handle criticism and handle setbacks and that's what we need to teach our children.  People who work hard to achieve, even if they fail at first, will be rewarded more than those who don't.  Practicing self-discipline, self-reliance and self-control will get them farther in life than being taught that unequal effort warrants equal reward.  The real world is full of competition and only the hungry survive.

"The difference between a successful person and others is not a lack of strength, not a lack of knowledge, but rather in a lack of will." Vincent T. Lombardi

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